Exploring Pleasure: A Guide to Sex-Toys and Self-Discovery
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In a recent showcase of playthings, two young women made purchases from us, acquiring some form of sexual toy for themselves. They shared, during a post-event discussion night, how they like to grant themselves bodily pleasures with these toys.
What primarily "surprised" me was not just how openly and naturally they talked about their self-pleasure habits, but also that they often, and even within relationships, devote time to it. (The topic for that night's "Frankly About Sex" event was masturbation within and outside relationships.)
Is it a high sexual appetite, or rather a need to explore and indulge one's own body? - this question came to my mind following the discussions.
I know for myself that my desire doesn't always automatically kick in to initiate sex or to "play" with any of my naughtiness. However, it's different when my partner piques my interest, perhaps with a caress or a kiss on the neck. It might even be 2-3 weeks before I myself start craving lovemaking, let alone grabbing a "dildo" in between sessions... (I recently learned about this phenomenon in sex coach training: there are those who desire togetherness, and those who respond to another's desire, which then activates them.)
This event reiterated to me how varied we are, especially in terms of our sexuality, which is exponentially true.
Inspired by the evening's conversations, I've made a video about my favorite toys, how I play with them, and what you might try in your own journey of self-discovery.
This recording serves as a kind of dildo guide. Not just on my self-awareness program have I discovered that these tools can have a fantastic effect on getting to know ourselves, and they are not at all taboo. I often find myself referring to these items as "assistive devices," when in fact they are truly TOYS. They can be experimented with, alone or together, and can gift us, or through them, we can gift ourselves, with joyous moments.
Self-pleasure - a term much more apt than masturbation or jerking off - can be an important step in getting to know our own bodies, our own desires, thereby becoming friends with and loving it. When we are at peace with ourselves, we can touch our partners with this same acceptance.
This is the main theme of my "Find Your Pleasure" program, where I provide exercises and self-awareness questions to explore and understand your own sexuality deeper.
If you find your own pleasure, understand how you truly function, what you genuinely desire, then you pave the way for a higher quality and more joyful sexual life.
Finding one's pleasure, understanding how we truly function, and recognizing what we truly desire, can indeed pave the way for a richer and more joyful sexual life. This realization isn't just about sexual fulfillment; it's about deep personal understanding and growth.
In embracing our desires and exploring our sexual selves, we foster a deeper connection with our bodies and minds. This exploration isn't limited to the physical realm; it extends into emotional and psychological spheres, enriching our relationship with ourselves and, by extension, with others.
The conversations and experiences shared at the event highlighted the importance of communication, both with ourselves and with our partners. By openly discussing our desires and preferences, we build trust and intimacy, crucial components of any relationship. This openness is not only about sharing what we want but also about being receptive to our partners' needs and desires, creating a mutually satisfying and respectful dynamic.
Moreover, the concept of self-pleasure and exploration using toys like dildos challenges societal norms and taboos surrounding sexuality. It's a step towards normalizing the conversation around sexual health and pleasure, emphasizing that it is a natural and healthy part of human experience. By exploring and understanding our sexual selves, we challenge misconceptions and stigma, fostering a more open and accepting society.
In conclusion, the journey of sexual self-discovery and pleasure is a deeply personal yet universally relevant one. It requires curiosity, openness, and a willingness to explore and understand one's desires and needs. The "Find Your Pleasure" program and similar initiatives offer valuable tools and insights to assist in this journey, aiming to enhance not just our sexual lives but our overall well-being and happiness.
Remember, finding joy in your sexuality and embracing your desires is not just about the physical act. It's about building a deeper, more loving relationship with yourself and, by extension, with those you choose to share this intimate part of your life with. So, take the time to explore, understand, and celebrate your sexuality. It's a key component of your identity and a source of joy and fulfillment in your life.