Self pleasure is normal.
Everywhere. For men and for women.
But most of us did not grow up with that message.
We got silence, shame, bad jokes and half information.
So we hide it. We rush it. We feel weird about it.
And in the middle of all this, our own pleasure gets lost.
This is real talk for both sides: how to enjoy your own body, how to drop some of the guilt, and how a few good toys can help you actually feel something… not just “get it done”.
Why self pleasure matters for everyone
When you touch yourself, you are not just “getting off”.
You are learning your own body.
You find out what kind of touch feels good.
You see how your mood and stress change your arousal.
You learn where your mind gets in the way, and how to bring it back.
This is not selfish.
This is sexual wellness.
When you know what you like on your own, it becomes much easier to:
-
relax with a partner
-
tell them what works
-
stop pretending and start feeling
Self pleasure for women
For many women, masturbation is mixed with pressure and doubt.
“Why am I not coming faster?”
“Why can’t I switch my brain off?”
“Why does it look so easy for everyone else?”
Add old ideas like “good girls don’t do that” and the result is simple:
body wants pleasure, brain says no.
Self pleasure for women does not have to be wild or complicated.
It can start very small: a quiet room, some lube, a hand resting over the vulva, slow breathing and no goal.
Just asking: “What feels nice right now?”
Toys can make this much easier, especially when the brain is busy and the body needs stronger or more clear stimulation.
A perfect example is the
G-Spot Wand & Clitoral Vibrator from LunaLuxe:
https://lunaluxe.com.au/products/g-spot-wand-clitoral-vibrator
It is curved to press on the G-spot inside while the head vibrates on the clitoris outside.
You do not have to choose “inside or outside” – you get both.
This helps the body wake up in more than one place and gives the mind something strong and steady to focus on.
Another great option is a wearable panty vibrator.
LunaLuxe has one designed to sit in your underwear and hug the clitoris:
Wearable Panty Vibrator:
https://lunaluxe.com.au/products/wearable-panty-vibrator-sex-toys-australia
You can use it at home, on a walk, on a date, or in bed with a partner.
It turns self pleasure into something playful and secret, not a serious “session” you have to perform.
The goal is simple: less guilt, more curiosity.
You are allowed to take time.
You are allowed to enjoy yourself first.
Self pleasure for men
Men are told a different story, but the pressure is just as strong.
Always be hard.
Always be ready.
Last the “right” amount of time.
Do not show fear. Do not show doubt.
So a lot of men use masturbation like a quick reset:
phone, hand, fast finish, done.
No real connection to the body. No real pleasure, just release.
There is nothing wrong with a quick one, but it does not have to be the only way.
Slowing down and trying new sensations can change everything.
An automatic masturbator cup can be a big upgrade from a tired hand.
LunaLuxe has the
Automatic Male Masturbator Vibration Cup:
https://lunaluxe.com.au/products/automatic-male-masturbator-vibration-cup
You slide in and let the cup do the movement and vibration for you.
Different patterns, different speeds, different pressure.
You can finally focus on feeling, not on doing the work.
For men who want more pleasure in solo and partner sex, a vibrating cock ring is simple and powerful.
LunaLuxe offers an
App-Controlled Vibrating Cock Ring for Men:
https://lunaluxe.com.au/products/app-controlled-vibrating-cock-ring-for-men
You wear it at the base of the penis.
It can help keep erections stronger and add extra vibration for you and your partner.
Because it is app controlled, you (or your partner) can change the patterns and intensity without breaking the moment.
Less stress, more fun, more feeling.
Self pleasure for men does not have to be a quick hidden job.
It can be slow, curious and connected, just like it can for women.
Shame, stories and the crap we learned
Both men and women carry stories in their heads:
“I am too slow.”
“I am too sensitive.”
“I am not sexual enough.”
“I want too much.”
“I should not need toys.”
Almost all of this is rubbish.
Your body is not a porn script.
Your arousal is not a machine.
There is no “right” way to masturbate.
If you use your hand, fine.
If you use lube, fine.
If you use a wand, a panty vibrator, a cup, a cock ring – also fine.
Sex toys do not mean you are broken.
They mean you are curious and you want to feel good.
The real red flag is not using toys.
The real red flag is never listening to your own body.
Self pleasure and relationships
Some people worry that if they enjoy self pleasure, partner sex will suffer.
In reality, it is usually the opposite.
When a woman understands how her clitoris, vagina and whole body respond to touch, she can guide her partner instead of silently hoping they guess. A toy like the
G-Spot Wand & Clitoral Vibrator
can be used alone or together, making it easier to show what feels good without awkward words.
When a man understands how his arousal builds and how toys like the
Automatic Male Masturbator Vibration Cup
or the
App-Controlled Vibrating Cock Ring
change the feeling, he can relax more in bed, worry less about performance and be more present with his partner.
Self pleasure is not replacing anyone.
It is training.
For honesty. For confidence. For better sex with another person who actually knows themselves too.
You are allowed to enjoy this
If you feel weird about masturbation, welcome to the club.
If you have never used a sex toy before, you are not “behind”.
If your solo time is boring, rushed or full of guilt, nothing is wrong with you. You just learned bad rules.
You are allowed to write new ones.
You are allowed to:
take more time,
use more lube,
try a toy,
stop when you want,
start again another day,
and enjoy your own body without apology.
For women, that might look like soft lighting, a locked door and the
G-Spot Wand & Clitoral Vibrator
or the
Wearable Panty Vibrator
buzzing quietly while you finally put yourself first.
For men, it might look like turning off the rush, taking the
Automatic Male Masturbator Vibration Cup
for a slow test drive, or wearing the
App-Controlled Vibrating Cock Ring
in the bedroom and letting your partner play with the settings.
Whatever shape it takes, self pleasure is not dirty.
It is not childish.
It is not a last resort.
It is a way to know yourself, to care for yourself, and to walk into every sexual moment – alone or with someone else – with less shame and more truth.
And that is exactly what you deserve.
